I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
