I skipped work to stalk him.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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