Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
