you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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