were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
