I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
