I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
