I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
