Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize
