she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
