I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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