so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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