You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
