I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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