Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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