Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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