My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
