Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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