nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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