Ambien. No doubt about it.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
