I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
