Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
