I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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