You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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