Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
