I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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