Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
