thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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