That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
