are you still at the devil's house?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
