Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
