I need help removing her.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
