and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
