Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
