i jhust puked up my retainher.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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