I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
