he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
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