Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize