well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
