would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
