the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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