What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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