remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
