I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
