I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
