i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
