I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
