i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
