i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
