Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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