The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
