I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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