tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
