omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
