I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
