He is an equal opportunity slut.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
