Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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