I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
