U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize