3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
