I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize