we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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