piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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