How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
There r osticjed everywhere
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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