pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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