Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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