Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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