But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize