just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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