I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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