My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
