I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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