do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
